How to make the most of your networking – an alternative perspective on this essential skill for SME leaders

Networking’s biggest problem is its name…for many of us it has a bad reputation that puts a lot of people off. When I give talks and ask people who don’t much like networking what it is that puts them off, 2 things typically come up. Firstly, it conjures up images of going to networking events and working a room full of strangers (‘and I’d rather watch paint dry’ is often what’s said next). And secondly it can be seen as something you only do when you need something (a job, more sales leads). Both are commonly held views that can hold many of us (especially ‘reluctant’ networkers) back from embracing what should be a lifelong skill.

My reply to these two networking ‘myths’ is that events are just one of the many ways to network. I do a lot of networking but rarely go to events. Most of mine is 1-2-1 with people I already know or using digital tools such as LinkedIn to keep in touch with my network. And the second is not true networking. If all you are after is a job or new sales leads, you are selling rather than networking.

I only embraced networking when I was 35 and in a career transition. 5 years later, I set up my own business and have seen the power of having an active network. In the 20 years since, every piece of new client work my team and I have won (with 1 exception) has come from someone that we already knew. We have never done any advertising. And it’s not just about winning new work. Having an active network has helped us deliver better quality work as well as helping me get great advice on career development, good books to read etc. And if that were not enough, one of my sons got his first graduate job during the 2020 pandemic though a networking call I had…networking done properly does work!

‘Proper’ networking is about building lifelong relationships based on mutual support, so it’s not something you turn on when you need something and then turn it off when you have it. It’s a mindset of giving as much as taking. The last quote in my book is from Martin Luther King Jr “Life’s most urgent question is this: what are you doing for others?”. So, when networking I focus on 2 approaches: “Spend as much time deepening existing relationships as starting new ones” and when talking to contacts “Start with the relationship and not the transaction” i.e. get to know them as humans and build rapport before moving onto business matters.

Author

Neil Munz-Jones published The Reluctant Networker in 2010 with a 2nd edition in 2016. The book is available on Amazon in physical and eBook formats. Neil has given 80+ talks about networking to a wide variety of audiences including employees, job seekers, business owners and young people in the early stages of their career. For more resources check out www.reluctantnetworker.com